Revisiting What We Deserve

I’ve been thinking about what I deserve. I think about it a lot. Because the truth is, most of us don’t get what we think we deserve. We get more (I didn’t do any work in that class but I still got an A…) or less (You deserve better than him. Men are dogs…), but rarely does our karma come with exact change. So why are so many of us, myself included, so interested in making sure things are fair (I’m always calling her. It’s not fair for me to do all the work in this relationship…)?


As far as justice goes, fairness is a main idea. It’s a major theme. Does working hard for my money mean that I deserve it? I want to say yes, but there are people who work harder than me for less money. Does that mean that even though I work hard, I don’t really deserve the money in comparison? Does breaking the law mean that you deserve to be deported? I know that some people say yes, but does that mean that it’s fair to be punished twice for the same time, as long as you’re not a US citizen? That it’s fair to punish some people more than others?


But because I think about fairness a lot, I’ve already written about it! Instead of reinventing my thoughts, you can visit my post from last year:


3 thoughts on “Revisiting What We Deserve

  1. Fascinating thoughts! I stumbled on this. =)

    I try not to dwell too much on the costs I think I can calculate because the reality is that I will never be able to understand what greater loss I could have suffered. I did not get what I deserve at this moment, but if I step back was there a moment I got more than I deserved? I think there is a balance to the world – if not, the “ugliness” of humanity would have eroded our lives a long time ago. The potential self-destruction we are capable of is more than I would ever want to imagine.

    So maybe we are asking the wrong questions. Maybe it’s not about deserving in our living, but living in a way that is deserving.

  2. Wait.. modifying my comment as a life in general thing. When it comes to relationships and occupation, I think if we don’t set a standard of what we think we deserve – someone else will gladly do it. (Okay, maybe that measurement was the main point of your entry..)

    Is it possible that I can modify for a relationship that there is no deserving? All relationships are a compromise. You’re both balancing a ruler and if you feel like you have to pull too much to keep it up then, let go. The point is – if you have to wonder if you deserve this (whether less or more), you’re thinking about it too much and it’s not healthy. It just has to feel.. enough? Maybe I’m too idealistic.

    Alright.. phew. I did not want my comment to gloss over relationships, being manipulated, etc.

  3. When it comes to the way people treat us, it seems natural to believe that we deserve a certain standard of dignity as human beings– to not be abused or taken advantage of, etc.

    But when it comes to the way we treat others, maybe the answer is to live in a way that is deserving, no matter how other people live. I like that idea a lot.

    Living that way means holding ourselves to a standard that we can’t hold others to. And figuring out what to do when we fall short of that standard.

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