On college campuses, time is marked by semesters. As a staff person on campus, I don’t really leave during the summers. But the students do. And over a summer, relationships change. When students come back in the fall, there’s always an adjustment period, trying to find out who’s broken up with who, who’s hooked up with who, whose friendship is on the rocks, etc. A while ago, I wrote a post on the advantages of having friends. And if that’s true, the opposite is doubly true.
When a couple breaks up, friends tend to pick sides. Sometimes one person really is a dirtbag and sometimes the other person just needs to hear it, to move on with their life. But when those two people work together in a club, or office, or organization, it causes bigger problems. Sometimes, one person is forced to leave. Other times they pretend like they’re ok and make everyone else uncomfortable so that no one can get any work done.
And thus, the great dilemma is born– should you date people who understand social justice work because you two share the passion? Or should you date outside your community so that, just in case you break up, you won’t upset the dynamics of your org/office/club?